Finding yourself in a difficult place in your marriage can be extremely difficult from an emotional perspective, particularly if you have been experiencing those difficulties for some time. Depending upon the nature of your relationship and your troubles, it is entirely understandable that you might feel lonely, frustrated, and without true companionship. No one wants to feel that way, and trying to get through the day while struggling with those feelings can understandably be stressful, draining, and discouraging. It is in these situations, where one or both spouses are struggling with emotional emptiness, that some find themselves more susceptible to becoming involved in affairs, or conversely, discover that their spouse is having an affair.
While affairs are ill-advised for any number of reasons, in North Carolina, they have very real and significant consequences from a legal perspective. In North Carolina, adultery is actually a misdemeanor offense under the criminal code, though it is highly unlikely that a prosecutor would bring criminal charges for an affair. What is far more likely, however, is that adultery, if proven, could significantly impact many aspects of a divorce case – not only from a financial perspective, but also with respect to child custody and other matters of great importance to the parties, not to mention the fact that the spouse harmed by the affair could potentially bring a lawsuit for significant damages under North Carolina law.
How Evidence of an Affair Can Impact Your Divorce Case
Ultimately, evidence of adultery can impact your divorce case in a variety of ways. Some of the most significant include:
If you need to speak with an experienced divorce attorney, please contact Adkins Law to arrange a consultation.
In North Carolina, infidelity is one of the nine acts of marital misconduct defined under N.C.G.S. § 50-16.1A listed as “illicit sexual behavior.” North Carolina defines illicit sexual behavior as “acts of sexual or deviate sexual intercourse, deviate sexual acts, or sexual acts defined in G.S. 14-27.20(4) [criminal sexual offenses], voluntarily engaged in by a spouse with someone other than the other spouse.”
What effect does cheating have on my marriage and separation? Cheating may serve to either guarantee or bar alimony for a spouse. In North Carolina, to have a claim for alimony, there must be a dependent / supporting relationship. This means that one spouse must be a dependent spouse, meaning they are “…actually substantially dependent upon the other spouse for his or her maintenance and support or is substantially in need of maintenance and support from the other spouse.” The other spouse must be a supporting spouse, meaning they are “... a spouse, whether husband or wife, upon whom the other spouse is actually substantially dependent for maintenance and support or from whom such spouse is substantially in need of maintenance and support.”
Without a dependent / supporting relationship, a court cannot make an award of alimony. The burden of proving dependency is on the spouse asserting the claim for alimony. It is important to note that even if a spouse is dependent, that dependent spouse is not entitled to an award of alimony if the other spouse does not have the ability to pay. A dependent wife, for example, would likely not be entitled to an award of alimony from a husband in bankruptcy whom does not have the ability to pay any amount of alimony at the time of the alimony hearing. See Bodie v. Bodie, 221 N.C. App. 29, 727 S.E. 2d 11 (2012).
A finding of adultery on behalf of a party asserting a claim for alimony renders a dependency determination moot. Thus, a dependent spouse who has cheated is barred from receiving alimony; the court will not make a determination of whether the spouse is actually dependent.
An actually substantially dependent spouse means that the spouse seeking an award of alimony must actually be dependent upon the other spouse to maintain the standard of living to which that spouse became accustomed to during the last several years before separation. The spouse must actually be unable to maintain the accustomed standard of living from his or her own means.
Examples of cases where a spouse has not been found to be dependent:
Examples of cases where a spouse has been found to be dependent:
The Supreme Court in North Carolina has held, however, that just because one spouse is dependent, it does not automatically mean that the other spouse is support. See Williams. Also see Barrett v. Barrett, 140 N.C. App. 369, 536 S.E. 2d 642 (2000). A surplus of income over expenses is sufficient in and of itself to warrant a determination that a spouse is supporting. See Bodie.
If a supporting spouse is determined to have cheated, the marital misconduct must have occurred during the marriage and prior to the date of separation. A court may consider incidents of post-separation marital misconduct only to the extent that it may corroborate evidence supporting other evidence that the marital misconduct occurred during the period of marriage and before the date of separation. The date of separation is the date that the parties actually began to live separate and apart with the intention of at least one party that the physical separation be permanent. See Romulus v. Romulus, 215 N.C. App. 495, 715 S.E. 2d 308 (2011). Parties must not only physically separate with the intent of at least one party to remain separate and apart, they must physically separate in a manner that indicates the cessation of cohabitation. A husband, for example, that came and went during the period of separation but continued to receive mail and maintain belongings at the marital residence and that, while he occasionally slept at his office, he returned home to do chores and take the children to activities was determined to not have separated from his wife. The parties were determined to not have legally separated. See Romulus.
What counts as an act of illicit sexual behavior? As stated above, North Carolina defines illicit sexual behavior as acts of sexual or deviate sexual intercourse, deviate sexual acts, or sexual acts defined by N.C.G.S. § 14-27.20(4), voluntarily engaged in by a spouse with someone other than the other spouse. In determining whether to award alimony, any act of illicit sexual behavior by either party that has been condoned by the other party shall not be considered by the court.
A spouse can prove that the other spouse engaged in illicit sexual behavior in a number of ways. Admission on behalf of the offending party is a very common manner of establishing proof. The term “sexual relations”, however, is not part of the statutory definition for illicit sexual behavior. In one North Carolina case, an admission by one spouse to the other spouse that he engaged in sexual relations did not establish illicit sexual behavior. See Romulus.
To establish adultery, a party must show that the offending party had both the opportunity and inclination to engage in sexual intercourse. Wallace v. Wallace, 70 N.C. App. 458, 319 S.E. 2d 680 (1984). This means that without direct proof, a party may establish that sexual intercourse occurred by showing that they wanted to engage in sexual intercourse with another party, and had the actual opportunity to do so. An example would be a spouse who has sent text messages and made phone calls with another party, and has been observed inside the other party’s residence for a period of time. There may not be direct evidence, pictures or video of the sexual intercourse, but circumstantial evidence would show that they had the opportunity and inclination to engaged in sexual intercourse.
What does this mean? In a nutshell, to have a claim for alimony, there must be a dependent / supporting relationship. One party must make substantially more income than the other party and the dependent party must rely on that income to maintain their lifestyle. If the dependent party has had an affair, they are barred from alimony; if a supporting party has had an affair, the dependent party is essentially guaranteed alimony; and if both parties have cheated, it is in the discretion of the court as to whether any award of alimony will be granted.
If you need to speak with a family law attorney regarding spousal support and alimony, please contact Adkins Law to arrange a consultation.
Imagine this—your spouse is in the shower and you notice they’re getting a lot of text messages. You flip over the phone, and see their inbox is full of explicit texts and pictures going back and forth between your spouse and a coworker. You’ve had your suspicion of infidelity, but now you have proof! What do you do next?
Before you do anything else, you should contact Adkins Law and set up a consult about your situation. In North Carolina, marital misconduct is a big deal. It can be used as the basis for a fault-based divorce, in determining alimony, and in so called heart balm torts like criminal conversation or alienation of affection suits. Unfortunately, those incriminating texts may not be enough to prove infidelity on their own.
“But what do you mean this isn’t enough?!”, you’re surely asking. This is a frustrating side effect of new technology coming into the courts. While these text messages may be very explicit and constitute cheating in your mind, absent proof that there was inclination and opportunity to have actual, physical sexual conduct, it simply is not enough.
This is not the end, however. These text messages may be very helpful in bolstering your claim of infidelity. For example, if you know that your spouse and their coworker went on a “work trip” together and shared a room, you can likely make the case that they had both inclination and opportunity to engage in a sexual relationship, and those text messages only make it more likely that they did. Text messages may also detail an encounter that occurred between the parties that can be used to show that a sexual relationship is ongoing or to show that third party driving a wedge into the marriage.
Remember, text messages, emails, phone records and the like can all be used as supporting evidence, but it is important that they are collected correctly and authenticated to be used in court.
If you are interested in pursuing a divorce based on infidelity or have any questions about how to correctly preserve those text messages, contact Adkins Law today to set up a consult.
Infidelity is one of the leading causes of divorce. In most cases, when a spouse cheats the damage has been done and the relationship cannot be healed. Before you consider divorce, however, especially if there are children involved, I highly recommend that you make an attempt at marriage counseling. Marriage counseling may or may not work, but at least you made an attempt at preserving the relationship.
From a legal perspective, infidelity may have a big impact on a divorce. Primarily this comes into play when determining alimony. In North Carolina, alimony may be awarded when there is a dependent / supporting relationship. This basically means that one spouse is dependent on the other spouse’s income to maintain a certain standard of living. If there is a dependent / supporting relationship and the dependent spouse has cheated, the dependent spouse is barred from alimony. If, however, the supporting spouse has cheated, the dependent spouse is virtually guaranteed alimony.
Infidelity also comes into play if an injured spouse is considering a heart balm action. In North Carolina, heart balm actions are designed to protect the sanctity of marriage and the family unit. An injured spouse may bring a lawsuit against the third party that either alienated their relationship with their spouse, or had sexual relations with their spouse. In other words, if a spouse cheats, the injured spouse may sue the person who had sex with the spouse. There are several limitations to these types of suits, however, including the fact that the actions must have occurred before the separation.
If you believe your spouse has cheated on you and you are considering divorce or legal action, please contact Adkins Law to speak to a divorce attorney. Adkins Law is located in Huntersville and primarily serves Mecklenburg County and the Lake Norman area.