Can I get Alimony in North Carolina? What if My Spouse Cheated on Me?

In North Carolina, infidelity is one of the nine acts of marital misconduct defined under N.C.G.S. § 50-16.1A listed as “illicit sexual behavior.” North Carolina defines illicit sexual behavior as “acts of sexual or deviate sexual intercourse, deviate sexual acts, or sexual acts defined in G.S. 14-27.20(4) [criminal sexual offenses], voluntarily engaged in by a spouse with someone other than the other spouse.”

What effect does cheating have on my marriage and separation? Cheating may serve to either guarantee or bar alimony for a spouse. In North Carolina, to have a claim for alimony, there must be a dependent / supporting relationship. This means that one spouse must be a dependent spouse, meaning they are “…actually substantially dependent upon the other spouse for his or her maintenance and support or is substantially in need of maintenance and support from the other spouse.” The other spouse must be a supporting spouse, meaning they are “… a spouse, whether husband or wife, upon whom the other spouse is actually substantially dependent for maintenance and support or from whom such spouse is substantially in need of maintenance and support.”

Without a dependent / supporting relationship, a court cannot make an award of alimony. The burden of proving dependency is on the spouse asserting the claim for alimony. It is important to note that even if a spouse is dependent, that dependent spouse is not entitled to an award of alimony if the other spouse does not have the ability to pay. A dependent wife, for example, would likely not be entitled to an award of alimony from a husband in bankruptcy whom does not have the ability to pay any amount of alimony at the time of the alimony hearing. See Bodie v. Bodie, 221 N.C. App. 29, 727 S.E. 2d 11 (2012).

A finding of adultery on behalf of a party asserting a claim for alimony renders a dependency determination moot. Thus, a dependent spouse who has cheated is barred from receiving alimony; the court will not make a determination of whether the spouse is actually dependent.

An actually substantially dependent spouse means that the spouse seeking an award of alimony must actually be dependent upon the other spouse to maintain the standard of living to which that spouse became accustomed to during the last several years before separation. The spouse must actually be unable to maintain the accustomed standard of living from his or her own means.

Examples of cases where a spouse has not been found to be dependent:

1. Wife was not determined to be a dependent spouse when she was able to meet her current living expenses with a small monthly surplus. Wife’s lower standard of living since separation from Husband did not warrant award of alimony when the marital standard of living was not sustainable and had been artificially maintained by a massive infusion of debt. See Bodie.

1. Wife was determined not to be dependent where the parties’ incomes were not significantly different in the two years before separation and parties had maintained separate bank accounts and divided expenses before separating. See Caldwell v. Caldwell, 86 N.C. App. 225, 356 S.E. 2d 821 (1987).

Examples of cases where a spouse has been found to be dependent:

1. Wife was found to be dependent where her monthly expenses were $2,800.00 and her monthly earnings were $1,353.00 and Husband was determined to be the supporting spouse when his income was four times that of Wife. See Ellinwood v. Ellinwood, 94 N.C. App. 682, 381 S.E. 2d 162 (1989).

1. Wife was determined to be dependent where she had a monthly shortfall of $1,667.00. Without an award of alimony, Wife would have been forced to deplete her estate to maintain her marital standard of living. See Williams v. Williams, 299 N.C. 174, 261 S.E. 2d 849 (1980).

The Supreme Court in North Carolina has held, however, that just because one spouse is dependent, it does not automatically mean that the other spouse is support. See Williams. Also see Barrett v. Barrett, 140 N.C. App. 369, 536 S.E. 2d 642 (2000). A surplus of income over expenses is sufficient in and of itself to warrant a determination that a spouse is supporting. See Bodie.

If a supporting spouse is determined to have cheated, the marital misconduct must have occurred during the marriage and prior to the date of separation. A court may consider incidents of post-separation marital misconduct only to the extent that it may corroborate evidence supporting other evidence that the marital misconduct occurred during the period of marriage and before the date of separation. The date of separation is the date that the parties actually began to live separate and apart with the intention of at least one party that the physical separation be permanent. See Romulus v. Romulus, 215 N.C. App. 495, 715 S.E. 2d 308 (2011). Parties must not only physically separate with the intent of at least one party to remain separate and apart, they must physically separate in a manner that indicates the cessation of cohabitation. A husband, for example, that came and went during the period of separation but continued to receive mail and maintain belongings at the marital residence and that, while he occasionally slept at his office, he returned home to do chores and take the children to activities was determined to not have separated from his wife. The parties were determined to not have legally separated. See Romulus.

What counts as an act of illicit sexual behavior? As stated above, North Carolina defines illicit sexual behavior as acts of sexual or deviate sexual intercourse, deviate sexual acts, or sexual acts defined by N.C.G.S. § 14-27.20(4), voluntarily engaged in by a spouse with someone other than the other spouse. In determining whether to award alimony, any act of illicit sexual behavior by either party that has been condoned by the other party shall not be considered by the court.

A spouse can prove that the other spouse engaged in illicit sexual behavior in a number of ways. Admission on behalf of the offending party is a very common manner of establishing proof. The term “sexual relations”, however, is not part of the statutory definition for illicit sexual behavior. In one North Carolina case, an admission by one spouse to the other spouse that he engaged in sexual relations did not establish illicit sexual behavior. See Romulus.

To establish adultery, a party must show that the offending party had both the opportunity and inclination to engage in sexual intercourse. Wallace v. Wallace, 70 N.C. App. 458, 319 S.E. 2d 680 (1984). This means that without direct proof, a party may establish that sexual intercourse occurred by showing that they wanted to engage in sexual intercourse with another party, and had the actual opportunity to do so. An example would be a spouse who has sent text messages and made phone calls with another party, and has been observed inside the other party’s residence for a period of time. There may not be direct evidence, pictures or video of the sexual intercourse, but circumstantial evidence would show that they had the opportunity and inclination to engaged in sexual intercourse.

What does this mean? In a nutshell, to have a claim for alimony, there must be a dependent / supporting relationship. One party must make substantially more income than the other party and the dependent party must rely on that income to maintain their lifestyle. If the dependent party has had an affair, they are barred from alimony; if a supporting party has had an affair, the dependent party is essentially guaranteed alimony; and if both parties have cheated, it is in the discretion of the court as to whether any award of alimony will be granted.

If you need to speak with a family law attorney regarding spousal support and alimony, please contact Adkins Law to arrange a consultation.