The term alimony comes from the Scottish legal concept of aliment, which required a husband to provide for his wife her lodging, food, clothing, and necessities in the event they divorced. In North Carolina, alimony has evolved into monetary payments that may be paid from a supporting spouse to a dependent spouse. To have a valid claim for alimony, you must have a supporting / dependent relationship.
A supporting spouse is defined as a spouse upon whom the other spouse is actually substantially dependent for maintenance and support or from whom such spouse is substantially in need of maintenance and support. A dependent spouse is defined as a spouse who is actually substantially dependent upon the other spouse for his or her maintenance and support or is substantially in need of maintenance and support from the other spouse. A wife, for example, who earns $150,000.00 per year, would be a supporting spouse over a husband who stays at home to keep the children. A husband, for example, who earns $175,000.00 per year would be a supporting spouse over a wife who earns $40,000.00 per year. It is important to note that affairs play into alimony by either barring or guaranteeing that alimony is awarded. If a dependent spouse participates in an act of illicit sexual behavior (sleeps with someone other than their spouse) during the period of marriage, the dependent spouse is barred from being awarded alimony. If the supporting spouse participates in an act of illicit sexual behavior during the period of marriage, the court shall order that alimony be paid to the dependent spouse. If both parties participated in illicit sexual behavior, alimony shall either be denied or awarded at the discretion of the court after consideration of all the circumstances. Sexual acts that occur a day after the date of separation are not acts that would bar or guarantee alimony. How much alimony am I entitled to? How long will I receive alimony? Unlike child support, there is no calculator to determine an alimony amount or duration in North Carolina. Instead, the court considers a number of factors including the length of marriage, the reasonable needs of the spouses, the ability of one spouse to pay alimony, the dependent spouse’s standard of living, the dependent spouse’s educational background, and whether there was any marital misconduct during the marriage. Generally, longer marriages result in alimony award of longer durations; people who are high income earners will usually pay a higher amount than people with modest incomes. If you would like to speak to an experienced family law attorney regarding alimony, please contact Adkins Law and we can arrange a consultation.
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Understandably, the issues of child custody and child support often go hand-in-hand. Though divorce may end the marital relationship, it certainly does not end the relationship parents have with their children – or their obligation to support those children. And without question, most parents want to support their children – out of love, and not simply because the law requires it. As with child custody, given our modern trend toward cooperative and collaborative legal negotiation, child support obligations may be determined by the parties based on their needs and lifestyle, or it can be determined by the court based on statutory guidelines.
Regardless of which method you ultimately choose to determine child support amounts for your particular situation, having a basic understanding of how child support generally works can be beneficial – after all, the more understanding you have, the easier it will be to negotiate and settle upon an agreement that works well for everyone involved. Most often, child support is a monthly payment from the non-custodial parent to the custodial parent to provide for the couple’s children who are in that parent’s custody. Its purpose is to ensure that even though the family is transitioning from one home to two, the children are able, to the greatest degree possible, to maintain their usual routine and standard of living. It is typically a long-standing arrangement, often lasting until the children in question are eighteen years old[1]. Defining Support in a Parental Agreement As with issues of child custody, if you believe that you and your spouse are capable of working cooperatively towards a goal together, then addressing it in a separation agreement is an excellent option, as it gives you more leeway to determine what works best for your particular circumstances, and more flexibility to make changes to the agreement as your life situation changes. Choosing to address child support in a separation agreement means that you can ensure that your agreement fits your needs – even if those needs are different than what is normally provided for under the legal guidelines. For example, in a separation agreement, the parties may agree to extend support payments beyond the age of eighteen, address payment of private school or college tuition expenses, or attend to other circumstances that are important to the parties but that might not be provided for by law. Allowing the Court to Determine Support If parents are ultimately unable to come to an agreement on child support themselves, they can always ask the court to make the determination. Once the parties have requested the court to make that determination, the court is not bound by any support obligations previously set forth in any separation agreements. In North Carolina, courts determine child support obligations using the North Carolina Child Support Guidelines. These guidelines were created to help calculate support obligations, and are revised at least every four years to adequately reflect cost-of-living increases. To determine your approximate child support obligation, you can use the calculator provided on our website, and can also download the appropriate child support worksheets utilized for calculating potential obligations. Typically, there are three worksheets used for calculating support under the guidelines:
Generally, when determining a support obligation, the court will look to the income of both parties from all sources. This includes not only the salaries of the respective parties, but also any stock options, IRA accounts, investments or other sources of income. In addition to considering the income of both parties, the court may also consider other factors, including, but not limited to:
Courts will often also consider and add extraordinary expenses, like special child care, extra medical expenses, counseling expenses, or necessary special education expenses, and will allocate those expenses between the parties as the court deems reasonable in its discretion. Though in the vast majority of cases, courts use the North Carolina Child Support Guidelines in determining support obligations, there are certain situations in which courts will deviate from those guidelines. Some of these circumstances include:
In these cases, courts will make the support determination on the basis of the child’s actual needs and expenses, as opposed to utilizing the formula set forth in the guidelines. Regardless of how the support obligation is ultimately arrived at, after it has been determined, North Carolina law allows for one spouse to pay the support directly to the other at the required times, if both parties are in agreement. In other instances, however, child support can be paid through the North Carolina Child Support Centralized Collections (NCCSCC), who will then send the child support to the receiving parent through either direct deposit or debit card. Often parents choose to send support payments through NCCSCC in order to have a documented record of all support payments made from one parent to the other in case a dispute should ever arise. In discussing support, it should also be noted that parents who are in the midst of the divorce process may request temporary support, even if the divorce has not yet been finalized. This makes sense after all, particularly if one spouse has already moved out of the marital home. In these instances, the party needing the support can request a hearing for temporary support, and following a hearing, the court can enter a temporary support order, which will remain in place until a permanent child support order is issued. Requesting temporary support involves a number of steps, it is always a wise decision to seek the help of a trusted attorney in doing so. [1] It is important to remember that if you have more than one child, and your child support agreement or order does not allocate the support amounts between the children, then you must seek a modification when one of the children reaches the age of 18 instead of simply stopping the payments, unless the original agreement or order contains an automatic termination date for the obligation. It should also be noted that if your child is 18, but is still attending high school, you cannot seek to terminate your support obligation until the child graduates, otherwise drops/fails our of school, or turns twenty, whichever is first. If you need to speak with an experienced child support lawyer, please contact Adkins Law to arrange a consultation. As children grown and as life circumstances change, children’s needs may change too. In some cases, one parent or the other loses a job. In other cases, unanticipated medical expenses arise, making it difficult to make ends meet. In still other cases, a child may be diagnosed with a learning disability that requires special education at a private school. Ultimately, one of life’s truths is that we should expect the unexpected. In those circumstances, one of the parties, or both parties, may wish to modify the existing support obligation.
If the parties have agreed upon a support obligation as part of their separation agreement, then they may modify the agreement as they wish, provided that both parties are on the same page, and are willing to do so. In that circumstance, the parties would simply need to revise and redraft the agreement to fit their current needs, and have both parties sign the updated copy. When a modification of existing court-ordered child support is sought, however, the court must order the modification as well. In those instances, the party seeking the modification must show that a substantial change in circumstance has occurred which warrants the modification. Typically, if three years have passed and the child support guidelines have been modified based on cost of living to indicate an increase in the amount due, a substantial change in circumstances is presumed. When less than three years have passed, however, either child support services or the court must verify that a change of circumstance for either parent occurred of a nature sufficient to render the case eligible for review. Examples of those changed circumstances might include: o Changes in the physical custody arrangement of the children; o Changes in the children’s needs; o Significant and substantial changes in a parent’s income. If a party is able to prevent evidence of these changes, they may qualify for review of the current support obligation and modification as warranted. Whether or not a particular change in circumstances may warrant modification is a matter to be discussed with qualified and experienced counsel, who will be able to best advise you as to your particular circumstances. If you need to speak with an experienced family law attorney, please contact Adkins Law to arrange a consultation. Where child support is concerned, typically, both parents are in agreement that their children should continue to be supported and nurtured to every extent possible. While parents may disagree on exact dollar figures, generally, the desire to support the child is there. Alimony, however, can be quite a different scenario. Perhaps unsurprisingly, the idea of paying money to continue to support a spouse after the marriage relationship has ended can be an emotionally difficult concept for some. After all, if a marriage has ended, there are more than likely some bitter feelings on one level or another. On the other side of the coin, if your marriage has ended and you are the spouse who is seeking support, you may feel resentful, after giving up your career to stay at home and raise children, that your ex-spouse seems not to understand that sacrifice and willingly pay support. All of these feelings are understandable.
In the midst of all of these emotions, it can be helpful to try and focus on the facts – what the law requires, and when those laws apply. Doing so can often help reduce the emotional angst you may feel over the situation, and may help you to take a more practical look at your reality. It is not at all unusual to feel uncertain about how much alimony might be awarded in your particular case, or for how long the payments might be expected to last. This, too, is understandable. Gaining a basic understanding of the law and working closely with a knowledgeable and experienced attorney that you trust will go a long way toward relieving the stress and anxiety that you may feel over this aspect of your divorce. Typically, there are two types of alimony awards – temporary and permanent. Temporary alimony awards are often referred to as “post-separation support” and are a temporary, no-fault form of support that is usually awarded from the date of separation until either the entry of a final alimony award, or the dismissal of the alimony claim. As is the case with child support, the parties can agree to alimony amounts outside of court as part of their separation agreement. For many couples, if they are able to work cooperatively and amicably and agree on the terms of support, this is often preferable to a long, public, contentious court battle. In some cases, however, coming to an agreement on spousal support simply isn’t a realistic option, and in those cases, the court can make the determination if necessary. Unlike some states, North Carolina residents are not automatically entitled to alimony, nor is there a set formula for determining the exact amount of alimony that should be awarded. In North Carolina, the court must first make a determination as to whether one spouse is “substantially dependent” upon the other for his or her “maintenance and support”. Alimony might be awarded indefinitely, or for a specified period of time. It is typically, though not always the case, that if a marriage has lasted less than ten years, an alimony award will last for no more than the equivalent of half of the duration of the marriage. The court may also provide that alimony terminates in a variety of ways – either at the expiration of a predetermined time limit, when one party begins to cohabit with another, when one party remarries, or by resumption of marital relations. Ultimately, this, too, is in the discretion of the court. In determining the amount and duration of alimony payments, the court may consider evidence of several factors, including:
Generally, a court will have broad discretion in making an alimony determination, and may consider any factor “relevant to the economic circumstances” of the parties that it wishes. When it issues the alimony award (or declines to issue an award), the court must provide the parties with specific written reasons for its decision. Either spouse will have the opportunity to appeal the award if they wish, and if a dependent spouse is ultimately awarded alimony, they may seek recovery of their attorney fees. When alimony is awarded, the parties should be aware that it is typically deductible by the spouse who is paying, and reportable as income to the spouse who is receiving payments. When an alimony award is entered, the state which enters the award will usually have continuing jurisdiction over the award, and as a result, any modifications sought or enforcement efforts needed will be brought in that state as well. If you need to speak with an experienced family law attorney, please contact Adkins Law to arrange a consultation. The termination of alimony largely depends on the terms set forth regarding duration, and whether the alimony award is put in an unincorporated separation agreement (contract) or a court order (judgment, consent order, or incorporated separation agreement).
Alimony that is provided for in a court order, whether this is awarded in an order pursuant to trial, a consent order, or a separation agreement that has been approved by the court and incorporated into a divorce decree or other order is court ordered alimony. Thus even if you agree to alimony in a consensual, contractual separation agreement, if that separation agreement is later incorporated and made part of a divorce decree, it transforms from a contract to an order. Court ordered alimony, regardless of the terms of the separation agreement, terminates statutorily upon the death of either the supporting or the dependent spouse, and also upon the remarriage or cohabitation of the dependent spouse. N.C.G.S. 50-16.9(b). So, when there is an order for alimony in place, alimony terminates upon (1) death of either spouse, (2) remarriage of dependent spouse, OR (3) cohabitation of dependent spouse. Cohabitation is statutorily defined as … “cohabitation means the act of two adults dwelling together continuously and habitually in a private heterosexual relationship, even if this relationship is not solemnized by marriage, or a private homosexual relationship. Cohabitation is evidenced by the voluntary mutual assumption of those marital rights, duties, and obligations which are usually manifested by married people, and which include, but are not necessarily dependent on, sexual relations.” To determine whether a couple has voluntarily assumed the rights, duties, and obligations of married people, the trial court must consider the totality of the circumstances. The primary policy in making cohabitation, not just remarriage, grounds for termination is the economic impact on the dependent spouse. It would not be fair, in other words, for a dependent spouse to be in and continue in a relationship where he or she may enjoy an economic impact from the relationship (i.e. new romantic interest contributes income) without the status of being married. A supporting spouse cannot automatically cease paying alimony due to the dependent spouse’s cohabitation or remarriage without a court order terminating the alimony. Examples of when a court has found that NO cohabitation exists:
The courts seem to hold that parties are cohabitating when they are in a (1) mutually exclusive dating and sexual relationship; (2) consistently, if not exclusively spend overnights together, or have a residence together; (3) hold themselves out in the same ways as a married couple would; (4) go on dates, travel together, keep clothes and toiletries at each other’s homes, and provide care (if applicable) for each other’s children; and (5) mix finances and contribute financially to each other, pay bills and contribute to household expenses together, and maintain joint bank accounts. When, on the other hand, an unincorporated separation agreement is involved, the terms of termination of alimony provided for in the contract dictate. Thus if no term in the unincorporated separation agreement provides for termination of alimony, it may continue indefinitely. A contractual support obligation of alimony in an unincorporated separation agreement, for example, that provided that alimony should be paid to the dependent spouse to support her while she obtained a college degree continued even after the death of the supporting spouse. The death of the supporting spouse did not end his obligation to support the dependent spouse until she graduated from college and his estate was required to provide the alimony payments to the dependent spouse. See White v. Graham, 72 N.C. App. 436, 325 S.E. 2d 497 (1985). To contrast against court ordered alimony, while cohabitation will result in the termination of a support order entered by a court, either as the result of a trial or by entry of a consent order, cohabitation will not terminate a support obligation arising from an unincorporated separation agreement unless so specified in the contract. See Jones v. Jones, 144 N.C. App. 595, 548 S.E. 2d 565 (2001). Unless provided otherwise in a separation agreement, however, reconciliation between parties who remain married may terminate an obligation to pay alimony, even if contracted for in an unincorporated separation agreement. Reconciliation, or the resumption of marital relations, is defined as the voluntary renewal of the husband and wife relationship, as shown by the totality of the circumstances. N.C.G.S. 52-10.2. To reconcile, there must typically be substantial objective indicia of cohabitation. Reconciliation did not occur, for example, in a case where the husband and wife spend four hours a day, six days per week together, in the former marital home, having dinner together, visiting with the minor children, and having occasional sex together because the husband and wife maintained separate residences, did not share chores or household responsibilities, did not hold themselves out as husband and wife, did not indicate to others that their problems had been resolved, and did not indicate that they desired to terminate their separation. Fletcher v. Fletcher, 123 N.C. App. 744, 474 S.E. 2d 802 (1996). The Court of Appeals has held, on the other hand, that reconciliation has occurred when the husband and wife lived together for four months following the execution of a separation agreement, had sexual relations, filed a joint tax return, and held themselves out as husband and wife. See Schultz v. Schultz, 107 N.C. App. 366, 420 S.E.2d 186 (1992). In a nutshell, if alimony is court order, it will terminate upon (1) death of either party, (2) remarriage of dependent spouse, or (3) cohabitation of dependent spouse. If alimony is in an unincorporated separation agreement, it will terminate upon the terms of that contract, if ever; unless the parties remain married and resume marital relations. N.C.G.S. § 50-6 is the statute in North Carolina that addresses absolute divorce. N.C.G.S. § 50-6 provides in part that “Marriages may be dissolved and the parties thereto divorced from the bonds of matrimony on the application of either party, if and when the husband and wife have lived separate and apart for one year, and the plaintiff or defendant in the suit for divorce has resided in the State for a period of six months. …a divorce under this section shall not affect the rights of a dependent spouse with respect to alimony which have been asserted in the action or any other pending action. Whether there has been a resumption of marital relations during the period of separation shall be determined pursuant to G.S. 52-10.2. Isolated incidents of sexual intercourse between the parties shall not toll the statutory period required for divorce predicated on separation of one year.”
The requirement that one of the parties to an absolute divorce, the plaintiff or the defendant, must have resided in North Carolina for at least six months before the filing of the divorce action is jurisdictional. Thus without one party having lived in North Carolina for the residency requirement of at least six months before filing for the divorce, the court will not have the jurisdiction to consider the divorce. The residency requirement has been defined as meaning one party is actually domiciled in North Carolina with an actual residence and the intent to remain permanently or for an indefinite period of time. The intent of a party to live in North Carolina at some future time is not enough, nor is it enough that a party have a residence in North Carolina – they must actually be domiciled at that North Carolina residence. The fact that a party is not a citizen of the United States is not required either. A party, for example, that is a German national and not a United States citizen, but that lives in North Carolina and intends to remains in North Carolina with no desire or intent to return to Germany, is a resident of North Carolina within the meaning of N.C.G.S. § 50-6. The requirement that the parties live separate and apart for one year is jurisdictional. Thus if the parties have not actually lived separate and apart for at least one year, the court lacks the jurisdiction to consider the divorce. Living separate and apart meaning actually, physically living separate and apart; not in different rooms within the same residence. The parties must live in different residences for at least one year, and at least one party must intend for the separation to remain permanent. North Carolina also requires that the divorce complaint be verified. This means that the party filing the action certifies and signs that they have read and understand the complaint, and intend to file the complaint. This is a jurisdictional requirement. Thus if a divorce complaint is not verified by the plaintiff, the court will lack the ability to consider the divorce. The complaint must be verified at the time of filing; it is not sufficient to obtain verification of the complaint before the complaint and summons are served on the defendant. When the plaintiff fails to verify the complaint, the trial court never obtains jurisdiction over the divorce action, and a divorce order entered in the action is void. So how do I get an absolute divorce from my spouse? As long as you have lived in North Carolina for at least six months with the intent of remaining in North Carolina, and have lived separate and apart with the intent of remaining separate and apart from your spouse for at least a period of one year, you may file a verified complaint seeking an absolute divorce from your spouse. Once the verified complaint is filed, it must be served on your spouse and they have the opportunity to respond. The defendant may respond, and the parties may request that the court enter an judgment of divorce, or if the defendant does not respond, the plaintiff may file a motion for summary judgment with the court and provide the court with a proposed judgment of divorce. The court then may enter the judgment of divorce, and the parties will legally be divorced. Approximately nine percent (9%) of all existing wills are invalid for one reason or another. If you die without a valid will, you die intestate, and lose control over what happens to your property. This usually also results in your estate paying a lot more to settle your affairs, which leaves less assets for your heirs. Generally estates settle much faster when you have a valid will that names people, charities, or other institutions that you want to inherit your property.
What kind of wills are there and how do I know if it is valid? Most commonly, to have a valid will, people have a formal will drawn up and executed. This consists of a typed will that specifies where your property goes, who will settle your estate, who will care for your children if they are minors, and who will administer any trusts the will may establish. Wills may also be handwritten (holographic wills) or oral. Handwritten and oral wills are not always valid and may only be considered valid in certain circumstances. If you are married and die intestate, your property will go to your spouse and any children that you have. Each state, including North Carolina, has a specific formula to determine what percentage your spouse and children receive. If you have children from different relationships, they may be entitled to inherit as well, which may lead to an outcome you would not necessarily favor. If you are not married, your relatives will inherit your property. In these cases, what you may have intended to go to close friends, charities, or an educational institution, may end up going to a distant relative that you may have never had a relationship with. If you die without a will and have no relatives, your estate will likely escheat to the state where you live. Thus only unmarried people without children and without property can justify not making a will; otherwise, you need to have a will in place. About half of Americans die intestate. Many of these people leave large estates and have minor children. To have a valid will in North Carolina, you need to execute the will with two witnesses and a notary. If you need to have a will drafted, or have an estate planning attorney review your will to ensure that it is valid, contact Adkins Law to schedule a free estate planning consultation. The history of spousal support (and child support), also called alimony or maintenance, can be traced back to the Code of Hammurabi, a Babylonian code of law dated back to 1754 BC, that declares that a man must provide sustenance to a woman who has borne him children. The Code provides that “If a man wishes to separate from a woman who has borne him children, or from his wife who has borne him children, then he shall give that wife her dowry, and a part of the usufruct of a field, garden, and property, so that she can rear her children. When she has brought up her children, a portion of all that is given to the children, equal as that of one son, shall be given to her. She may then marry the man of her heart.”
A similar law can be traced back to the Code of Justinian, which is the codification of Roman law ordered early in the 6th century by Justinian I, who was an Eastern Roman emperor in Constantinople. The Code of Justinian essentially provided that a gift of dowry or a prenuptial donation be held in escrow by the husband for the support of the wife in the event the marriage failed due to no fault of the wife. The law provided that there were five reasons a man could divorce his wife: i. Treason against the government; ii. She plotted against him; iii. Adultery (If there were no children, husband would keep the prenuptial donation and 1/3 of any property that wife possessed. If there were children, the prenuptial donation and property would be held for them when they became adults); iv. She bathed with strangers, or attended banquets, circuses, theaters, etc. against his wishes; or v. Wife remains away from home without husband’s knowledge or permission, unless she was visiting her parents. A wife, on the other hand, could divorce her husband for the following six reasons: i. Treason against the government; ii. He attempted to kill her or not warn her of a murder attempt by others; iii. He seeks to delivery her to another man for the purpose of committing adultery; iv. He accuses her of adultery but fails to prove her case; v. He entertained another woman in his wife’s home or he is frequently with another woman and refuses to stop after being warned by wife’s kinsmen; or vi. Husband is convicted of adultery (If there are children, wife retains prenuptial donation as alimony and gets portion to husband’s property to preserve for ownership of their children. If there are no children, portion of husband’s property to wife and portion of husband’s property to the government). In the United States, modern alimony traces its roots back to feudal times in England where title and control of a woman’s property vested with her husband upon their marriage. In exchange for taking and controlling her property, the husband became responsible for support the wife for the rest of her life. This obligation to provide support continued even if the parties divorced, unless the divorce was the fault of the wife. If the wife’s bad conduct or infidelity was the cause of the divorce, the wife would not be entitled to support from the husband. Over time, the law evolved to require the wife to prove that husband’s misconduct or infidelity was the cause of the divorce, and thus entitle her to alimony. The law in North Carolina before 1995 reflected this common law principal: that a dependent spouse seeking alimony must prove that the supporting spouse, whether husband or wife, committed marital fault before a court could consider their request for financial support. Additionally, then, regardless of whether the supporting spouse cheated, infidelity on behalf of the dependent spouse, before or after the date of separation, was a complete bar to receiving support. The current spousal support laws of postseparation support (temporary alimony) and alimony in North Carolina were enacted in 1995. The current laws have diminished the role of marital fault in spousal support and focus more on economic need. Postseparation support is support that a dependent spouse is entitled to if the court determines that the dependent spouse’s resources are not adequate to meet his or her reasonable needs, and the support spouse has the ability to pay. While a court may consider marital misconduct in making a determination of postseparation support, the impact of any marital misconduct on a potential postseparation support award is within the discretion of the judge. Infidelity, for example, does not automatically serve as a bar for a dependent spouse seeking postseparation support; rather it is a factor for a judge to consider in determining whether to grant an award of postseparation support. An award of postseparation support will continue until: i. the date specified in the postseparation support order; ii. the entry of an order awarding or denying alimony; iii. the dismissal of an alimony claim; iv. the entry of a judgment of absolute divorce if no claim of alimony is pending at the time the judgment of absolute divorce is entered; or v. modification of an order for postseparation support. It is important to understand that postseparation support is primarily designed to function as a means of securing temporary support for a dependent spouse in an expedited manner. The current alimony laws in North Carolina replaced a fault-based approach in making an award of alimony with a needs-based approach. With the exception of illicit sexual behavior, marital misconduct is one of many factors a judge may consider in determining whether alimony should be awarded, the amount of alimony, and the duration of the alimony award. As mentioned above, fault does control an award of alimony when there has been illicit sexual behavior. North Carolina defines illicit sexual behavior as acts of sexual or deviate sexual intercourse, deviate sexual acts, or sexual crimes voluntarily engaged in by a spouse with someone other than the other spouse. In at least one case, by way of example, penetration of a vagina by a finger was determined to be an act of illicit sexual behavior. See Romulus v. Romulus, 215 N.C. App. 495 (2011). Illicit sexual behavior impacts alimony in North Carolina as follows:
Thus while the law is shifting away from fault in determining alimony, in North Carolina, illicit sexual behavior may serve as a bar or guarantee of an award of alimony. If you need to speak with an experienced spousal support attorney, contact Adkins Law to arrange a consultation. In North Carolina, infidelity is one of the nine acts of marital misconduct defined under N.C.G.S. § 50-16.1A listed as “illicit sexual behavior.” North Carolina defines illicit sexual behavior as “acts of sexual or deviate sexual intercourse, deviate sexual acts, or sexual acts defined in G.S. 14-27.20(4) [criminal sexual offenses], voluntarily engaged in by a spouse with someone other than the other spouse.”
What effect does cheating have on my marriage and separation? Cheating may serve to either guarantee or bar alimony for a spouse. In North Carolina, to have a claim for alimony, there must be a dependent / supporting relationship. This means that one spouse must be a dependent spouse, meaning they are “…actually substantially dependent upon the other spouse for his or her maintenance and support or is substantially in need of maintenance and support from the other spouse.” The other spouse must be a supporting spouse, meaning they are “... a spouse, whether husband or wife, upon whom the other spouse is actually substantially dependent for maintenance and support or from whom such spouse is substantially in need of maintenance and support.” Without a dependent / supporting relationship, a court cannot make an award of alimony. The burden of proving dependency is on the spouse asserting the claim for alimony. It is important to note that even if a spouse is dependent, that dependent spouse is not entitled to an award of alimony if the other spouse does not have the ability to pay. A dependent wife, for example, would likely not be entitled to an award of alimony from a husband in bankruptcy whom does not have the ability to pay any amount of alimony at the time of the alimony hearing. See Bodie v. Bodie, 221 N.C. App. 29, 727 S.E. 2d 11 (2012). A finding of adultery on behalf of a party asserting a claim for alimony renders a dependency determination moot. Thus, a dependent spouse who has cheated is barred from receiving alimony; the court will not make a determination of whether the spouse is actually dependent. An actually substantially dependent spouse means that the spouse seeking an award of alimony must actually be dependent upon the other spouse to maintain the standard of living to which that spouse became accustomed to during the last several years before separation. The spouse must actually be unable to maintain the accustomed standard of living from his or her own means. Examples of cases where a spouse has not been found to be dependent:
Examples of cases where a spouse has been found to be dependent:
The Supreme Court in North Carolina has held, however, that just because one spouse is dependent, it does not automatically mean that the other spouse is support. See Williams. Also see Barrett v. Barrett, 140 N.C. App. 369, 536 S.E. 2d 642 (2000). A surplus of income over expenses is sufficient in and of itself to warrant a determination that a spouse is supporting. See Bodie. If a supporting spouse is determined to have cheated, the marital misconduct must have occurred during the marriage and prior to the date of separation. A court may consider incidents of post-separation marital misconduct only to the extent that it may corroborate evidence supporting other evidence that the marital misconduct occurred during the period of marriage and before the date of separation. The date of separation is the date that the parties actually began to live separate and apart with the intention of at least one party that the physical separation be permanent. See Romulus v. Romulus, 215 N.C. App. 495, 715 S.E. 2d 308 (2011). Parties must not only physically separate with the intent of at least one party to remain separate and apart, they must physically separate in a manner that indicates the cessation of cohabitation. A husband, for example, that came and went during the period of separation but continued to receive mail and maintain belongings at the marital residence and that, while he occasionally slept at his office, he returned home to do chores and take the children to activities was determined to not have separated from his wife. The parties were determined to not have legally separated. See Romulus. What counts as an act of illicit sexual behavior? As stated above, North Carolina defines illicit sexual behavior as acts of sexual or deviate sexual intercourse, deviate sexual acts, or sexual acts defined by N.C.G.S. § 14-27.20(4), voluntarily engaged in by a spouse with someone other than the other spouse. In determining whether to award alimony, any act of illicit sexual behavior by either party that has been condoned by the other party shall not be considered by the court. A spouse can prove that the other spouse engaged in illicit sexual behavior in a number of ways. Admission on behalf of the offending party is a very common manner of establishing proof. The term “sexual relations”, however, is not part of the statutory definition for illicit sexual behavior. In one North Carolina case, an admission by one spouse to the other spouse that he engaged in sexual relations did not establish illicit sexual behavior. See Romulus. To establish adultery, a party must show that the offending party had both the opportunity and inclination to engage in sexual intercourse. Wallace v. Wallace, 70 N.C. App. 458, 319 S.E. 2d 680 (1984). This means that without direct proof, a party may establish that sexual intercourse occurred by showing that they wanted to engage in sexual intercourse with another party, and had the actual opportunity to do so. An example would be a spouse who has sent text messages and made phone calls with another party, and has been observed inside the other party’s residence for a period of time. There may not be direct evidence, pictures or video of the sexual intercourse, but circumstantial evidence would show that they had the opportunity and inclination to engaged in sexual intercourse. What does this mean? In a nutshell, to have a claim for alimony, there must be a dependent / supporting relationship. One party must make substantially more income than the other party and the dependent party must rely on that income to maintain their lifestyle. If the dependent party has had an affair, they are barred from alimony; if a supporting party has had an affair, the dependent party is essentially guaranteed alimony; and if both parties have cheated, it is in the discretion of the court as to whether any award of alimony will be granted. If you need to speak with a family law attorney regarding spousal support and alimony, please contact Adkins Law to arrange a consultation. Often times, when parents separate, they are able to agree to a parenting arrangement that is in their child’s best interests and works well for the parents. In many cases, flexible schedules between the parents work well without conflict until the child is an adult. This is, however, not always the case.
In situations where parents cannot agree to the custody schedule, they need a child custody order. A child custody order sets out the plan for making decisions for the minor child and for determining when and where the child spends time with each parent. For parents who conflict with each other, this is an absolute necessity. To obtain a child custody order, a parent must file an action with the court for child custody. After filing the action, the other party must be served with the lawsuit and afforded the opportunity to respond. In custody actions, after filing, the parents are almost always required to attend a court ordered mediation in the hopes of resolving their differences and working out a custody schedule. Attorneys may be but are often not included in these mediations. If resolution is reached in mediation, an order dictating the custody arrangement and schedule will be issued by a judge, which resolves the matter. In the event that the parties are unable to come to an agreement during mediation, and are unable to negotiate their custody schedule, they require a judge to determine their parenting schedule and end up in litigation. In litigation, the parties become adversaries and lose their ability to control and determine their parenting arrangement through negotiation. The conflict is resolved by the judge upon the presentation of evidence to determine what parenting arrangement is in the best interests of the minor child. The primary issues to be determined by the judge are legal custody and physical custody. Legal custody concerns decision-making for the minor child. Where the child goes to school, the doctor, therapy, dentist, for example, include matters of legal custody. Physical custody, on the other hand, concerns where the child spends the night and how much time each parent is going to spend with the minor child. Once a child custody order is issued, it is enforceable by the court through the power of contempt. What does this mean? Basically, in a nutshell, if a party violates the custody order, the court has the power to punish the violating party. The court may have a number of options in punishing the offending party including fines, probation, jail time, and attorney’s fees. If you need to speak with a family law attorney concerning child custody issues, please contact Adkins Law to arrange a consultation. |
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