The Book on Divorce in North Carolina is now available for digital download, in paperback, and as a Kindle Audiobook! Click below to order a copy!
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Attorney Christopher Adkins just released his new book entitled The Book on Divorce in North Carolina. The book is designed to help the reader understand family law issues such as divorce, property division, child custody, child support, spousal support and alimony. Questions are answered regarding marriage counseling, affairs and how they impact separation, the process of divorce, child custody orders and agreements, calculating child support, and separation agreements. Arbitration is another alternative dispute resolution option– one that falls somewhere between mediation and full-fledged litigation on the spectrum of structure and rules. Essentially, an arbitration is a private trial in which the parties hire their own “judge” – the arbitrator – to finally decide the issues between them. In an arbitration, the parties will have the full attention of the arbitrator, whereas in a traditional courtroom setting, the judge may have to deal with many cases at once in a courtroom full of people. In contrast to mediators, arbitrators are professionally trained to hear testimony, review evidence, and issue binding decisions. Often, parties will decide to attempt arbitration after they have been unsuccessful in mediating certain of their issues. Sometimes, the parties will simply have one or two issues that they can’t communicate and resolve effectively, and arbitration can be very helpful in those instances. It is in fact possible to mediate some issues, and arbitrate others, if that piecemeal approach works best for the parties. When a couple makes the decision to arbitrate their issues, the first step is signing an “arbitration agreement”. Through this agreement, the parties agree to give the arbitrator the authority to make decisions in their case. The agreement also sets forth the issues to be decided in the case, and establishes whether the arbitration decision will be binding upon the parties. Typically, when a couple decides to arbitrate, each spouse retains an attorney to help with the process, as well as to the parties of their rights and to help them pursue their goals during the course of the arbitration. The hearing itself is somewhat typical to a court hearing, with an opening and closing statement by each party, as well as the presentation of evidence and the opportunity for cross-examination of witnesses. Although arbitration can seem like a somewhat formal process and is not used as often as some other methods when it comes to custody disputes , it is typically a good choice for those parties who feel that mediation may be slightly too unstructured, but who don’t want all of the expense and stressful time commitment that comes with traditional litigation. While it may be more expensive than mediation because it includes more formalities, and while it may give the parties slightly less freedom in the decision-making process, it is still typically less expensive and less stressful than traditional litigation. If you want to learn more about arbitration, contact Adkins Law to speak with an experienced divorce attorney in Huntersville NC. If you have recently had friends or family members who have gone through a divorce, it is possible that you may have heard the term “collaborative divorce." If so, this is because it has become a very popular method of resolving divorce issues in recent years. Collaborative divorce is the most recent significant development in divorce resolution, and it is intended to be a way for a couple who is divorcing to work together as a team with trained professionals to resolve their issues together in a positive and cooperative negotiation, without having to go to court. In a collaborative divorce setting, each spouse has his or her own attorney to provide advice and support, and all parties commit to working together toward agreement on the issues without going to court. In fact, one of the key conditions of a collaborative law negotiation is that if for any reason the collaborative law process fails, the parties will have to obtain new attorneys. The intent is truly that everyone be committed toward resolving the issues in the best and least stressful way possible. Those attorneys who practice collaborative law receive extensive training in the process. This training includes not only conflict resolution strategies but also practical and legal training in a variety of areas. In addition to the attorneys, other specialists may also be involved in the discussion and negotiation process including financial advisors, child therapists, tax specialists, marriage therapists, and any other professionals at the parties feel would be helpful to thoroughly assessing and resolving their issues. The essential idea behind collaborative divorce is that parties make the choice to be honest open and committed to resolving their issues with the benefit of legal counsel but without the contentiousness involved in a courtroom setting. Together, the parties enter into a voluntary set of ground rules that everyone agrees to abide by. The exchange of information and ideas is open and honest, and the goal is to work together toward crafting an agreement that is in the best interests of the children and the family as a whole. Ultimately, if the collaborative law process is successful, the parties will have an agreement that effectively addresses all of the issues before them, and which they can agree to modify in the future if necessary, as their lives and circumstances change. Often, if used successfully, collaborative law can be a very effective method of handling the divorce process. If you need to speak with an experienced divorce attorney in Huntersville, please contact Adkins Law to arrange a family law consultation. For many of us, our children are the most important parts of our lives. Certainly, as we attempt to navigate all of the issues that come with divorce, not only child support and child custody but even the way we divide our property or decide whether or not to relocate for our job – our children are at the forefront of our minds. Though many things may change following a divorce, this is not one of them. Especially following the divorce, many parents are worried about their children-worried about how they will handle the transition from one home to two, and how they will deal with the complex emotions they may have. This is an understandable concern-and the truth is that unfortunately there is nothing you can do to entirely take away the pain of divorce for your children. The good news, however, is that there are things that you can do to help your children navigate this often difficult and emotionally confusing time, and come out healthy and happy on the other side:
Contact Adkins Law to arrange a family law consultation with an experienced Huntersville child custody attorney. One of our Huntersville child custody lawyers can help guide you through your child custody matter. Without question, worrying about your children and making the time and effort to ensure that they are taken care of and provided for throughout the divorce process and after should be one of your primary concerns as a parent. However, it is also important to remember that in the midst of caring for your children, you also shouldn’t forget to care for yourself. After all, it can be hard to fill others up when you are feeling empty yourself. Sometimes, people can have a tendency to neglect self-care or put it in the back burner following a divorce, feeling that there are simply more important things deserving of their time. We would argue against this misconception, and would encourage you to remember that when you feel better, and when you have more energy, you are better able to meet the challenges of each day, and to care for those you love.
Divorce is a complex process. After all, untangling two lives that have become intertwined over many years isn’t easy. There are many decisions you’ll have to make during the divorce process. As you prepare to make those decisions – decisions regarding the division of property (including your assets and debts), the potential sale of your home, the updating of your legal and insurance documents, and other important matters, gathering information pertaining to those matters ahead of time will help to simplify matters to some degree. It is also unfortunate to say, but important to be aware, that in a divorce, relationships can become extremely strained. Often, people can become so emotional that they act in unpredictable ways which are completely out of character. It is not unusual for a spouse to take paperwork without the other spouse’s knowledge, or even to destroy important paperwork in anger, or out of a desire for revenge. Even if you may not expect that sort of behavior from your spouse, it is still a wise precaution to save copies of important documentation and information while you still have access to it. Certainly, the information needed will vary depending upon your unique circumstances. However, information that is usually helpful to gather includes:
With respect to any documentation you may gather, it is always best to collect at least three to five years’ worth of information if possible, or more if you have been in a long-term marriage. Although gathering this information may be time-consuming and tedious, it is a worthwhile effort in the long run in order to save yourself time, expense, and headache down the road. If you need to speak with an experienced Huntersville divorce attorney, please contact Adkins Law to arrange a consultation. One of our Huntersville divorce lawyers can arrange a consultation with you to discuss your family law matter in detail. If you have thought it through and have ultimately decided that divorce is the best path forward for your family and your future, then you will soon have many decisions to make as you pursue this decision. From telling your spouse and children to choosing an attorney and gathering important documents that will be necessary as your case proceeds, planning ahead is important. While planning ahead will certainly not make your divorce proceedings stress-free, it will go a long way toward making them less stressful than they would otherwise be. Planning ahead helps to you feel and be more prepared in many life situations, and divorce is no different.
BREAKING THE NEWS: TELLING YOUR SPOUSE AND CHILDREN Telling Your Spouse It goes without saying that there is no “easy” way to tell your spouse that you want a divorce – but there are certainly some ways to approach this conversation to make it better than it otherwise might be. First, it should be said that prior to having this conversation with your spouse, you should be very certain that it is a conversation you want to have. Sometimes, without truly thinking it through, one spouse might tell the other that they want a divorce as a way of getting their attention, or persuading their spouse to do something, or to stop doing something. We would caution against this. It is harmful to your relationship if it is not what you truly want, and it may also damage your credibility in the future, when you truly do feel that divorce is the best option. Once you have officially made the decision to proceed with divorce however, and you are certain that it is what you want, it is worth making every effort to ensure that a conversation which has the potential to be very uncomfortable and painful goes as smoothly as it possibly can. Of course, every relationship, and every set of circumstances leading up to this conversation will be unique. Ultimately, you know your spouse best, as well as the best time, place, and manner in which to have this conversation. Keeping that in mind, here are some helpful guidelines for making a difficult conversation slightly less so:
While you will not entirely eliminate any emotional stress during a divorce conversation by taking these steps, they will make a difference in the overall tone of the conversation, and should help to make a painful situation more manageable for you, and for your spouse. After telling your spouse, the two of you will want to decide, together, when and how it is best to tell your children. Telling Your Children About Divorce While divorce is certainly difficult for everyone, perhaps one of the hardest aspects is worrying about how it might affect your children. Without question, a certain amount of pain and heartache is inevitable – any time that a family splits apart, this will be the case. However, how you handle these matters with your children – both in the way that you talk to and interact with them, and in the way that you choose to interact with your spouse in the future – can make a significant difference in whether the overall impact of the divorce is negative or positive. With that in mind, you and your spouse will of course need to decide together how you plan to approach the first conversation with your children when you tell them about your decision to divorce. Of course, each family is unique. You know your own children best, and are in the best position to determine how to break the news to them in a way that will be as emotionally healthy as possible. Some guidelines to consider when doing so include:
While telling your children about your divorce will certainly not be easy, the manner in which you do so is very important. Take the time necessary to have a thorough conversation, and put ample thought into that conversation beforehand. Stay calm, and make sure that both parents stay on the same page and remain committed to putting their emotional issues aside for the sake of their children’s well-being during this time. Doing so will make the divorce process easier for your entire family. If you need to speak with an experienced Huntersville family law attorney, contact Adkins Law to arrange a consultation. Finding yourself in a difficult place in your marriage can be extremely difficult from an emotional perspective, particularly if you have been experiencing those difficulties for some time. Depending upon the nature of your relationship and your troubles, it is entirely understandable that you might feel lonely, frustrated, and without true companionship. No one wants to feel that way, and trying to get through the day while struggling with those feelings can understandably be stressful, draining, and discouraging. It is in these situations, where one or both spouses are struggling with emotional emptiness, that some find themselves more susceptible to becoming involved in affairs, or conversely, discover that their spouse is having an affair.
While affairs are ill-advised for any number of reasons, in North Carolina, they have very real and significant consequences from a legal perspective. In North Carolina, adultery is actually a misdemeanor offense under the criminal code, though it is highly unlikely that a prosecutor would bring criminal charges for an affair. What is far more likely, however, is that adultery, if proven, could significantly impact many aspects of a divorce case – not only from a financial perspective, but also with respect to child custody and other matters of great importance to the parties, not to mention the fact that the spouse harmed by the affair could potentially bring a lawsuit for significant damages under North Carolina law. How Evidence of an Affair Can Impact Your Divorce Case Ultimately, evidence of adultery can impact your divorce case in a variety of ways. Some of the most significant include:
If you need to speak with an experienced divorce attorney, please contact Adkins Law to arrange a consultation. |
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